


Every Other Weekend

by teamchasez



Category: Dale Earnhardt Jr - Fandom, NASCAR - Fandom, NASCAR RPF
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-14 02:04:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16030730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teamchasez/pseuds/teamchasez
Summary: Song fic written to "Every Other Weekend" by Reba and Kenny Chesney





	Every Other Weekend

“Ryan, grab your backpack!” Karli Earnhardt yelled up the stairs to her six-year-old son as she walked into the living room where her four-year-old daughter was sitting on the couch. “Isabella, Baby,” she sighed as she knelt down in front of her. “Come on Sweetie, Mommy will help you pack your bag, okay.” She grabbed her Princess backpack from the cushion next to her. 

When Ryan had started kindergarten this year, Isabella had wanted a backpack just like her brother. When Karli walked Ryan to the bus stop, Isabella proudly wore hers. 

“Do you want to bring your coloring book and crayons?” Karli asked as she picked them up from the coffee table. At her daughter’s small nod, she stuffed the items into the bag. “How about your Sleeping Beauty book? And Little Mermaid movie?” Once she had her daughter’s toys packed she zipped the backpack up, sitting it next to Isabella. “Cheer up, Baby.” She said as she ran a finger down her cheek. 

She sighed, not seeing Ryan downstairs and went in search of her son. Walking into his room, she saw him in front of his toy box staring into it. “Hey, Bub, what’s wrong?” 

“I don’t know what to take,” Ryan said as he stared at his toys. “I don’t want to forget something then really want to play with it.”

Karli smiled and ruffled her son’s red-blonde hair. “You’ll be back in a couple days. And I’m sure you’ll be too busy to play with toys.” 

“I know,” Ryan sighed and grabbed his case of matchbox cars. 

“Good choice,” Karli said and stood up. She grabbed the duffle bag sitting on his twin bed and quickly rifled through. She made sure there were plenty of clothes for the weekend for both Ryan and Isabella. Zipping it back up, she slung it over his shoulder. “You got your homework?”

“Yeah,” Ryan nodded. “It’s in my bag.”

“Make sure Daddy helps you with it okay?” Karli said as she turned out the light in Ryan’s room as they walked out the door. As she passed Isabella’s room she noticed the stuffed lion in the middle of her bed. “Go downstairs, Mommy will be down in a minute.” She sent her son downstairs and went to grab the lion from Isabella’s bed.

Dale had bought the stuffed lion for Isabella on the day she was born. Isabella had it ever since. It was never far from her reach and she needed it to go to sleep at night. It would be disastrous if the stuffed animal was forgotten.

“Are you guys ready?” Karli asked as she walked into the living room. She handed the lion, Roar, to Isabella. “Let’s go see Daddy.”

She forced a smile on her lips as she herded both kids out the door and into the car. The weekend was nothing new. Every other weekend she would pack the kids up, making sure they had everything they needed for the two days away. She would buckle them in and drive down to Concord where her ex-husband would be waiting to whisk them away to whatever track he was at for the weekend. She would return home to a lonely house.

“You ready?” Karli asked, glancing at her children in the rearview mirror. 

“Is Daddy gonna be there?” Ryan asked as they pulled from the drive. 

“I don’t know Baby,” Karli answered. “He’s gonna try real hard to be here this time, okay? But you know it’s hard for him to do sometimes. But if he’s not there, Mike will be. You like Mike.”

“Yeah,” Ryan said as he turned his head to look out the window. “But he’s not Daddy.”

Karli frowned at her son’s words. She knew Dale tried his hardest to get away from the track to be able to meet them at the airport. But since they had to wait until Ryan was done with school on Friday afternoons, it made it difficult for him to slip away. Fridays for Dale was always filled with practice, qualifying, appearances. And if he was on the other side of the country, like the week before last, it was impossible for him to fly back to North Carolina to meet them. When that happened, he always sent his closest public relations representative, Mike Davis, to meet them. Mike had a daughter of his own and was great with Ryan and Isabella. On occasion, Dale’s sister Kelley would meet them along with her daughter’s Karsyn and Kennedy. 

She pulled into the airport and drove around to the private take off. After showing identification, she was allowed through. Seeing the Leer Jet in front of her caused her heart to skip a beat. The notion that Dale could be here tore at her insides.

They were married seven years ago after having dated for two years. Their meeting was very cliché. They had bumped into each other at the same bar. But both had been with someone else at the time. But Karli hadn’t been able to keep her eyes off the race car driver. The drink he had sent to her table didn’t go over to well with her date. Nothing had happened that night, but two weeks later at the same bar he bumped into her again. This time, she was single and ended up leaving with him. 

After dating for two years and holding him together through the 2001 season, he proposed to her and they were married shortly after. Ryan blessed them after their first year of marriage. Dale had gotten the son that he wanted. Karli used to tease him that he wouldn’t be able to produce a boy since so many of the other drivers had little girls. She was never so happy to lose a bet when she saw the look on Dale’s face when the doctor announced that a boy was growing inside of her. Little Isabella came two years later and from the moment she was born, Dale was wrapped around her finger. 

Then during the time of contract negations with DEI and winless streaks and horrible finishes, their marriage fell apart. They had stopped sleeping together, Dale had stopped spending as much time as he used to at home. He was gone more and Karli wasn’t going to put up with it. The communication between them became nonexistent. He stopped talking to her and she had stopped trying. After that, she knew it was over. She filed for divorce and Dale never stopped her.

Karli stopped the car and put it in park before unbuckling her seat belt. Climbing from the drivers’ seat, she opened the door to retrieve Ryan from his booster seat. She put him on the ground and held his hand as she went around the car to get Isabella from her seat. 

“Daddy!” Ryan exclaimed as he looked around the open door and saw Dale walked toward them. He took off running across the tarmac as fast as his little feet could carry him. Throwing his arms open, he leaped into his father’s outstretched arms. “I missed you Daddy,” he said as he hugged his father.

“Missed you too, Ry,” Dale swallowed the lump in his throat as he held his son tight. Holding Ryan in his arms, he was glad he was able to get away from the track to meet his kids. Two weeks ago, it had taken Ryan all Friday to get over the hurt and disappointment of his father not being able to meet him. But the race had been in California, and he couldn’t make the six hour flight back across the country. He had wanted to. Oh, how he wanted to. 

“Daddy!” Dale had just put Ryan down on the ground when the voice of his daughter rang throughout the strip. He opened his arms accepting his daughter’s leaping frame. He held her to him, feeling her arms and legs wrap around him. Her arms nearly choked him, but he welcomed it.

“Hi Princess,” he whispered in her ear as he stroked her strawberry blonde hair. “I missed you.”

“Me too, Daddy,” Isabella pulled back and brushed her nose against Dale’s. Their ‘kiss’. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Baby,” he kissed her forehead. He put her back on the ground so he could grab their things from Karli. He looked up feeling his wife’s --ex-wife’s, presence. His eyes quickly took in her appearance; her blonde hair hanging down past her shoulders. His fingers itched to run through its softness. No make-up graced her face but she still looked beautiful to him. “Hey,” the word left his lips and many more wanted to follow in their place. The invite to come with him; to ask her to come back home; to tell her he still loved her and always would. ‘I need you.’ But the words stayed inside his head.

“Hey,” Karli echoed. He looked just as good as ever. She handed off the duffle bag and both backpacks, her fingers brushing his. Her breath hitched and her eyes flew to his. Her mouth opened on its own accord and the words were right on the tip of her tongue. ‘I love you. I miss you, Dale.’ She couldn’t bring herself to voice them.

She knelt down in front of Ryan and Isabella, breaking the eye contact she had with their father. “You guys be good for Daddy, okay?” She took Ryan in her arms, giving him a hug and a kiss before doing the same with Isabella. “I love you. See you on Sunday.”

“Love you too Mommy.”

Dale turned around to say goodbye but Karli had already started toward the car. He sighed longingly watching her walk away before he turned to his kids and walked them toward the airplane. ‘One of these days,’ he thought as he situated Ryan and Isabella in the seats, buckling them in for take off. 

*~*~*~*~*

Dale parked in front of his motor coach at Talladega Motor Speedway. He glanced in the mirror smiling when he saw Ryan’s wide eyes glancing around as they always did when he was at the track. He moved his eyes across the seat to the other side, his eyes full of love, when he saw Isabella sleeping against the side of her booster seat. 

He spirits were immediately lifted having his children with him. No matter what happened on the track this weekend, would be wiped away once he saw the smiling faces of his kids. It was already too late in the season to salvage the mess that it had become and right now the only bright spots in his life were sitting in his back seat. 

“Daddy, can we go see your car?” Ryan asked as Dale unbuckled him and sat him on the ground.

“Sure Bud,” Dale said as they walked to the other side of the car to pull Isabella from her seat. He held Isabella in his arms as she laid her head back on his shoulder. “Hold on,” he told his son as he opened the back hatch of the SUV. He rooted through the bag Karli had packed, finally producing the toboggan. He handed the black hat to Ryan. It was almost identical to the one Dale wore on cold weekends. “Put this on,” he told him. The Alabama air had turned chilly since he left and hoped the sweatshirts they wore would be enough. He didn’t want them to get sick. He didn’t want to send them back to Karli sick.

It took him awhile to maneuver the hood of Isabella’s sweatshirt on her head with her sleeping, but he finally managed it. Grabbing Ryan’s hand, they walked from his bus toward the garages. It almost felt like a family walking, but he knew something was missing. Karli.

When Ryan was done looking at the car, he pulled his father and sister toward the team hauler. Happy to see him happy and excited Dale let him go in, following more slowly, shifted Isabella’s weight in his arms.

“Hey man!”

Dale looked over Isabella’s head to see Tony Stewart walking his way. His lifted his hand in a wave, shushing his daughter as she gave a small whimper and snuggled deeper into his neck. “What’s going on?”

“Just got back from Trackside,” Tony said as he caught up with his friend. He smiled looking at Isabella. “Rough trip?” 

“No,” Dale shook his head. “She was fine on the trip; just fell asleep in the car on the way here. Ryan wanted to come to the garage. I figured she’d wake up with all the noise, but so far nothing.”

“Better watch, she’ll be up all night.”

“Doubt it, she’s a good sleeper. Could probably sleep all day if she was allowed,” Dale grinned. “Like me.”

“I was gonna invite you for cards and beer but I see you’re already have commitments. Forgot this was your weekend.”

“Yeah, this is my weekend,” Dale repeated. The words never settled his stomach. He hated the words. Every other weekend he could spend time with his kids. He could be the father to them he loved instead of the one he hated with just good night kisses and ‘I love yous’ over the phone. 

“Alright, next weekend I’ll save ya a seat at the table,” Tony said. He looked up as the hauler door slid open and the miniature version of Dale ran out. “Hey sport!” 

“Hi Tony!” Ryan exclaimed seeing the other driver. He gave him a high five. “Are you gonna win on Sunday?”

Tony laughed and ruffled the top of Ryan’s head, causing the kid’s hat to cover his eyes. “Your Dad might have something to say about that.”

Ryan pulled off his hat, holding it in his hands. “Well, are you gonna push him? Then you can finish second!”

“I’ll try my best,” Tony grinned. He nodded at Dale. “I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

“Later man,” Dale said as Tony walked off. He looked down at Ryan. “Are you ready to head back yet?”

Ryan nodded. “I’m hungry.”

“Me too,” Isabella mumbled against Dale’s neck.

“Good Morning, Sleepyhead,” Dale smiled kissing Isabella’s head. “Let’s go back and get something to eat and get warmed up, okay? Ryan put your hat back on. You’re gonna get sick.” When Ryan put his hat back on, he slipped his hand into Dale’s and they walked back toward the bus.

“Is TJ here?” Ryan asked once they walked into the coach. “He promised to play me in football. He said he was gonna pick the Bills and would kick my as—” He trailed off when he saw his father’s head snap to him. “Butt.”

“Much better,” Dale said as he sat Isabella down on the coach. He reminded himself to talk to TJ again about cussing in front of his kids. He wondered if this was how Kelley felt when Karsyn said bad words that she learned from him. That he taught her on purpose because it was funny to hear her say them.

“I told him he wasn’t gonna win,” Ryan went on. “Because I was gonna be the Redskins and I would kick his butt. Right Daddy? The Redskins are the best.” 

Dale smiled, “That’s right. The Redskins are the best.” He told Ryan as the Redskins awful stats for the current season came to mind. He cringed remembering that his ‘Skins gave the Lions their first win in nineteen games a couple weeks ago. Definitely a bad season this year. “TJ is back at the hotel. He’ll come over tomorrow and you guys can play alright?”

“Okay,” Ryan said as he walked over to the TV and started browsing through the DVDs. “Can we watch ‘Cars’?”

“No,” Isabella piped up. She scrambled off the couch and went to the movies looking through them. Her face scrunched up when she didn’t see the movie she was looking far. She turned around, her eyes frantically looking around the room. Her tear-filled gaze hit Dale’s. “Daddy… where’s mermaid? Where’s Roar?” A tear slid down her cheek.

“Oh shit,” Dale exclaimed realizing he left the children’s bags in the car. He pulled his keys out of his pocket. “He’s in the car, Sweetie. Let me go get him.” He quickly left the coach and jogged to the SUV where he grabbed the bags. Locking it, he went back inside, depositing the bags on the counter. He unzipped Isabella’s bag and retrieved the lion and the movie. He walked to his daughter and knelt in front of her. “Here, Baby,” he said softly, handing over Roar. “We forgot him in the car. It’s a good thing you remembered. He was scared out there. All alone.”

“Thank you Daddy,” Isabella said as she hugged the lion to her. “Mermaid?”

“Right here,” Dale said, holding the DVD up. “How about we get something to eat and then watch ‘The Little Mermaid’ and ‘Cars’ okay?”

“But I wanted to watch ‘Cars’ now,” Ryan complained holding the DVD in his hands. He sighed when he saw the look his father gave him. “Alright,” he grumbled. “We can watch her movie.”

“What do you want to eat?” Dale said as he stood up, the minor crisis adverted.

“Grilled cheese!” Isabella shouted.

“Grilled cheese,” Ryan agreed. He crawled onto the sofa and sat back as Dale put Isabella’s movie in.

“Grilled cheese it is,” Dale said as he passed all the previews in the Disney movie. He never understood previews in a kid’s cartoon. As soon as the movie was in just begin playing the movie without the nonsense. He settled Isabella next to Ryan on the couch before going into the kitchen to make supper.

He cooked enough for each of his children and him, settling them onto a plate until they were all done. Once the sandwiches were made (which looked better than the last time he attempted them) he reached into the cupboard pulling out Ryan’s ‘Cars’ plate and Isabella’s ‘Princess’ plate. He put a sandwich on each and cut them in half. Carrying a plate in each hand, he took them to his kids and sat them on their laps.

“I don’t like crust, Daddy,” Isabella said as she stared down at her sandwich.

“That’s not the way Mommy makes it, Daddy,” Ryan told him. “She always cuts it the other way.”

Dale closed his eyes as the words tore through his heart. He should have known that Karli cut them diagonal and Isabella didn’t eat the crusts. He did know! He knew how his kids ate their grilled cheese and yet still served them wrong. He picked up the plates and hurried back the kitchen. He put them down and placed his hands on the counter, his head down.

He breathed slowly as his thoughts trampled through all the memories he shared with his wife in this very coach. The innocent comment from his son seemingly opened the flood gates. He missed her. There was no other way around it. He missed Karli. He missed her presence in the coach. He missed her laugh, her humor. But most of all, he missed her love.

It definitely showed to those around him, the divorce worked him over more than he admitted. His performance this year was crap. For once in his life, he didn’t want to show up at the track anymore. And that was a new feeling for him. He enjoyed racing, enjoyed being at the tracks each week; the atmosphere, everything surrounding racing. But now it didn’t hold the same feeling as it once did. Back when Karli was at his side to enjoy it with him.

*~*~*~*~*

Karli blinked her eyes open staring at the red numbers on her alarm clock. The early hour glared back at her. This was always the time that Ryan would come in asking for breakfast. He wouldn’t be coming in this morning asking for a bowl of Lucky Charms. She sighed and rolled over on her back staring at the ceiling.

Every time she crossed paths with Dale, when they were exchanging children, the weekend was spent thinking of him. She tried not to watch the races or read the sports section, but when she saw his name in print she was drawn to read it. And she felt for him and the season he was having. She knew it hurt him having to lose Tony Eury Junior as his crew chief. The two were very close and shared the same passion for the sport. Dale wanted to share his success with his cousin.

She secretly liked that the results didn’t change after the crew chief switch, but she always blocked out the voice in her head that it boiled down to Dale. And she knew that wasn’t the answer. Dale was a great driver. He was one of the best. He put more into racing than anyone else on the track. His head was constantly on racing and getting better. 

He took the bad finishes to heart and let them get to him. The disappointment radiated from him. She wished she could take it away and make his season better. She hated to see the finishes. The good days going bad because of something out of their control. She hated the pressure that NASCAR and the media put on him. They way they put the entire sport on his shoulders, as if it was his to carry. They needed him to do good for the sport to do good.

“Bullshit,” Karli mumbled out loud. What the sport needed were lower hotel prices, a better car to race and to not look the other way when one driver and team cheated. And she didn’t care if that team was one of Dale’s so called teammates. When three cars can vie for wins each and every week, while Dale was mired with failures and dismal results, there was something amiss. The team didn’t act like it was even part of the powerful organization. 

She was a little skeptical of the move to Hendrick Motorsports. Karli knew it was a definite step up especially with the way DEI had seem to be moving as of late. The announcement and move had come during the low point of their marriages so Dale had never talked about it with her. She was wary of the domination that the team offered. They already had two powerhouse cars with Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson and it seemed that who ever else joined that team from Brian Vickers to Kyle Busch, they were never measured up with the coveted duo. Each car consistently fell short. 

Karli hoped that when Rick nailed Dale has his forth driver, it would change and Dale would finally get into the equipment he deserved that he had once had at his father’s company. And for a minute, she thought it would happen when he came so strong out of the gate in the 2008 season. The points were there, the wins not so much. And in the final ten races, the glimmer of what was to come in the following season. He went from third all the way to twelfth in the twelve man chase. It was like the switch had been flipped.

And with the string of horrible races still continuing throughout the season with no end in sight and seemingly no help from the car owner or teammates Karli was sure there was an underlying reason for securing Dale. It wasn’t the on-track performance, the relationship the owner and driver shared; it was the dollar signs that came with the off-track availability that Dale brought with him. No matter what results Dale produced on the track, he still was the most popular driver and his merchandise outsold any other competitor. Everyone knew who Dale Earnhardt Jr. was, but not everyone knew Jimmie Johnson. 

The way the media and fans bagged on him, comparing his entire career to four years of one driver’s, did nothing to settle any of the festering anger she felt especially when Dale had two championships under his belt. She knew the pressure firsthand from the fans and media a like. The comparisons to his father, that his Daddy did this. He’s nothing like his Dad. 

She found herself angry at Dale Sr. sometimes for the way he left. She knew it was silly, it wasn’t his fault. But once he died, everything was placed onto Dale Jr.’s shoulders. And the load was too heavy enough for one man, let alone one trying to mourn the loss of his father. She was proud of the courage and strength Dale showed and continued to show.

He never once stated he wanted to be like his father. He wanted to be his own man, his own racer and be known for what he, Dale Earnhardt Jr., did on the track. Not for what Dale Sr.’s son did. But breaking the tie wasn’t easy. Especially when the results showed different ends of the spectrum. And that’s when Karli hated Dale Sr. the most. That he was not here to help his son through the trying career times, to tell people to back off and leave the boy race and do his own thing. Most of all, she wished Dale Sr. could tell Dale Jr. that he was proud of him. 

Karli threw the covers back and crawled from the warm cocoon and made her way into the bathroom where she took a hot shower and got ready for the day. When she walked downstairs, she went into the living room and turned the television on. The silence of the house drove her insane. She was used to the sounds of cartoons playing, silverware clanking during breakfast, small fights and laughter. All the sounds her kids would make during the day, warmed her heart, let her know that she was not alone. But on weekends like this, with the quiet, she couldn’t take it. The television stayed on all day, drowning out the deafening sounds of silence. 

She hummed softly to the music channel and went to the kitchen where she filled her tea kettle. While she waited for the water to boil she grabbed the paper from her step. Spreading it out on the kitchen table, she started with the first page and read through the entire thing stopping only to fix her hot tea. 

She normally skimmed the headlines, reading the ones that interested her. Usually the paper didn’t get read until later at night when the kids were put to bed, but since there was nothing going on, she was able to read even the uninteresting articles. She flipped back to the sports section she had skipped on the first round through. Drawing her breath she scanned the headlines, her face scrunching when she saw who won the pole for tomorrow’s race. Drawn to the rest of the line up she was further disgruntled when she saw where Dale had qualified.

Closing the paper she wrapped her hands around the warm mug as she stared across the kitchen. Aside from the quiet, she always hated these weekends because it gave her time to think. And she hated it. She hated thinking of the what-ifs and what might have beens. What would have happened if she had stuck through the rough times and stayed with Dale. Would they still be fighting or would they have weathered the rocky road and came out closer on the other side. Would there be another little one running around or would she be currently with child. Would Dale’s season be different than what is was, would he be the one vying for wins and the championship. 

She sighed and pushed away from the table, drinking the last of her tea. She was getting no where with thinking. There was nothing she could have done; there was nothing to save their marriage. And since Dale didn’t fight as hard, it would have been pointless for her to fight if he didn’t want it. It was the best thing that they could have done going their separate ways. The kids deserved better than to live with two parents, when they weren’t fighting, they weren’t talking. 

But damn did it hurt sleeping alone. To awake in the middle of the night staring at the undisturbed pillow. The coldness of not having a pair of warm arms wrapping around her, pulling her against an equally warm body. Never experiencing the late night whispers, late night touches and love making. The soft promises in the dark, broken in morning light. 

“Damnit,” Karli wiped at the tear that escaped and rolled down her cheek. He still hurt her a hundreds of miles away without even knowing. She needed her kids with her. She needed the distraction of lying on the floor playing matchbox car races with Ryan or playing babies with Isabella. When she was doing that her mind never wandered to Dale or their failed marriage.

Saturdays for her, were filled with trips to the library to exchange books then spending the afternoon reading. Or going to the playground to swing and slide and the park to throw a ball and toss a Frisbee. Those were what her Saturdays were supposed to be. Not sitting in her kitchen listening to the quiet. But now, with her children with their father, she had nothing to do and all day to do it.

*~*~*~*~*

Dale leaned back against the seat in his airplane; Ryan and Isabella sitting quietly next to him. They knew he was in a mood and they didn’t want to make him madder. His lips were pressed in a thin line as the race went through his mind. 

The high hope in the final handful of races was Talladega. This was one of his favorite tracks and he always did great here. A few years ago, he owned the place. Now he was lucky they even let him in. Qualifying on Friday ran about how he qualified all year – in the back of the pack. Practice on Saturday had left them even more frustrated when they were unable to find any speed. While he was stuck at the bottom of the charts, his teammates were at the top. He didn’t know what to do anymore. He worked his tail off but nothing he did was ever good enough. The cars were never fast enough.

The fitting end to the weekend was when he was caught up in the big one with fifteen laps to go. Cars spun in front of him, others checking up and he got run over from behind. He was right in the middle, nothing TJ said would have helped. He had tossed his steering wheel on the dash in frustration before he climbed out of the mangled car and into the ambulance for the ride to the care center. 

Once he was released he answered the same questions over and over for the media. What happened out there? Is there anything different you and the 88 team can do? When are you going to be able to finish off a weekend? He didn’t have any of the answers he once thought he had. He didn’t know what to do to change the way his career was going. He thought he had taken a step in the right direction two years ago when he went to Rick. There used to be a time when everything he touched was gold, he could do no wrong. Those times were long gone.

He released a heavy sigh.

“You’ll do better next week, Daddy,” Ryan said from his seat next to his father. “I believe in you.”

“Thanks Sport,” he smiled as he wrapped an arm around his son’s shoulders, giving him a hug. He wished he could believe Ryan’s words. He wished they were true that he would do better next week in Texas. The site of his first Cup win; where his father met him in victory lane. But even he didn’t believe it anymore. Bad luck can only last so long. When it’s your time, it’s your time. It can’t last forever. But bad luck had taken permanent residence with him. And it was probably time to accept the fact that maybe he wasn’t cut out for racing anymore. His prime was in 2004 and now he was hanging on when he should be letting go. 

Should he call it quits at seasons end or should he stick around for the hope that this season was just a fluke. He didn’t know if he’d be able to take another grueling thirty-six weeks of the bad finishes and poor performances. He remembered Richard Petty’s words: ‘When it ain’t fun anymore, I’ll quit.” He knew he wasn’t having fun. No one had fun when they didn’t run like they were supposed to, like they knew they could. Maybe 2004 was the fluke season and this was how it was meant to be. He wasn’t supposed to win races and championships.

And what have the last two-three seasons brought him? Surely not the wins he wanted. He could count the positives on one hand. But the negatives, he needed to borrow a couple hands. In the span of those seasons he left his father’s company something he’d never thought he’d do. A new number graced the side of his car instead of his grandfather’s. He had gained a place in the dominant team, but more failed expectations fell his way, more criticism for not maintaining with his teammates. More questions and talk and references to his father. The loss of his marriage.

The final drew him up short; Karli and their marriage. That was something he never thought he’d ever see happen. But somewhere in the downhill roll of his career, his marriage had ended. And he had been too caught up to notice. Counting on Karli always being there; he never pictured the day she’d ask him for a divorce. The way the word slipped from her lips, with so much conviction, so finalizing he didn’t even try to stop her. She had packed up and moved from the house. He had spent even less time at home, not wanting to watch her walk away. 

It would be easy to blame everything on Karli; the problems in their marriage, his struggles on the track. But it wasn’t fair to her or him. The failure of the marriage had been just as much his problem as it had been hers, maybe even more. The track had nothing to do with her. She wasn’t the one behind the wheel. But he liked it when she was on the box.

She’d always be waiting for him to climb from the car after a win or fortieth place finish, with a smile on her face and words of congratulations or encouragement to whisper in his ear. She believed in him, even when he couldn’t find the answers. And now the only ones waiting for him when he climbed from the car were reporters demanding to know when he’s gonna start winning again. When he’s gonna start racing like his father.

His mind was still going over racing and Karli as he got Isabella and Ryan settled into his SUV after the plane landed. On Sunday nights, he always drove them home. It saved Karli a useless trip to Concord when he was driving to Mooresville just the same. When he doubted himself and his ability she was right there to pick him back up and screw his head on straight. She was there to kick him in the ass when he was doing something stupid and the first to praise him for a good job. He missed that. God he missed her. 

“Alright guys,” he said as he pulled into the driveway of their new house. “We’re here.” He climbed out and went to the back, first unbuckling Ryan and then Isabella. His heart constricted at the excited cries of ‘Mommy’ as Karli came outside to meet them. 

He tried to push back the hurt and sadness he felt as he grabbed the kids’ bags from the back. He walked slowly up the walk, trying to prolong the moment as long as possible. The fifteen minutes he spent dropping the kids off every other weekend was the only family time he got. And he counted on it each and every time. For those few precious minutes he could pretend that all was okay and they were a family.

“Were you guys good for Daddy?” Karli asked after she kissed and hugged them both.

“Yes,” Ryan nodded. “Guess what I did, Mommy.”

“What did you do?”

“I kicked TJ’s ass in football!” Ryan exclaimed.

Karli’s eyes widened and he looked from her son to Dale. 

Dale cringed, hearing the cuss word. “Ryan, what did I say about saying that word?” He purposely avoided Karli’s eyes not wanting to see the accusations. 

“Not to say it, that it’s a bad word,” Ryan said solemnly looking down at the ground. 

“Right it’s a bad word and little kids shouldn’t say it,” Karli said, cupping her son’s chin, raising his head so she could look at his face. “But Daddy and Mommy shouldn’t say it either. So don’t repeat words that we say okay?”

“Yes, Mommy. I’m sorry.” Ryan said. “But I really did beat TJ. I was the Redskins too! And he was the Bills!”

“That’s great Baby!” Karli smiled, giving her son another hug. 

“We’re gonna have a rematch when I go back. He said it was luck. I don’t think so. He’s just a sore loser.”

Karli started laughing and soon heard the deep chuckles as Dale joined her. It felt good to laugh again and she quickly stored the small family moment into her head. This was how it was supposed to be. They were supposed to be inside talking about the weekend, as they made sure Ryan had everything for school the next day and Dale knew what was going on with his schedule for the week. This moment wasn’t supposed to be outside as Dale dropped off the kids before going home to his house. The same house she and Dale had designed stone by stone. The first house they had lived in had been Dale’s and she moved in. But this house was theirs. And now it was back to being Dale’s.

“Daddy did my hair,” Isabella spoke up. 

“He did?” Karli asked surprised as she looked at her daughter’s hair. The strawberry blonde hair was divided down the center and had a braid hanging down on either side. She had seen it during the pre-race ceremony when the camera panned to the small family, and she had wondered who had fixed it. She assumed one of the wives or girlfriends did it. It never crossed her mind that Dale had been the one. “He did a good job! You looked very pretty on TV today.”

“Kelley took pity on me,” Dale explained. “She taught me how to at least braid.”

“Becoming a regular beautician,” Karli said as she fingered Isabella’s braid a soft smile at her lips that Dale had taken the time to fix his daughter’s hair. 

“He only pulled my hair once,” Isabella said.

“Well that’s good,” Karli chuckled. She fell silent, the moment slowly falling away. She needed get the kids inside for supper and baths before bedtime. The chilly late October air whipped around them and she didn’t want them to get sick. 

“Alright guys,” Dale said, knowing the time was over. His heart breaking as he crouched down. He didn’t want to leave them. He hated this. They were supposed to be a family. They were supposed to be together. He was supposed to be walking them inside the house, sitting down to eat supper. Then make sure Ryan had his homework done and both children had baths. Once they were changed into their pajamas he would read them each a story and tuck them in with a kiss goodnight. After that, he was supposed to curl up with Karli on the couch. 

“Do you have to go, Daddy?” Ryan asked as he wrapped his arms around his father, holding him tight. He didn’t want him to go. 

“’Fraid so sport,” Dale said, a lump rising in his throat. He held his hand at the back of his son’s head, holding him against him. “I’ll call you tomorrow before you go to bed okay?”

Ryan nodded against Dale’s shoulder, his grip never loosening. He didn’t want his Daddy to leave. He wanted him to come inside. He wanted him to lie on the living room floor and play with his cars like they did at the track. He wanted Dale to read him his bedtime story and kiss him goodnight. Most of all he wanted him there in the morning before he went to school.

“Please stay, Daddy,” Isabella cried as she ran forward, joining her brother in hugging their father.

Dale wrapped his arm around Isabella accepting her into the circle. He held both of his children tight against him. A lump rose in his throat and he felt the pain deep down in his stomach. The sobs of his children tore at him. There was nothing he could do to stop their pain. He tightened his arms and held them closely. He bowed his head between them as he tried to keep his emotions in check. These nights were tough on them all, but tonight was the worst. 

Karli held a hand over her mouth biting back a cry. Her heart in pieces as she watched the scene in front of her, listening to her children cry and beg their father not to leave. She wanted him to stay as well. She wanted to invite him in her house; to put the smiles back on their faces; heal the hole in her heart. She didn’t know if she could. Could she open herself back up to the hurt and despair she went through before?

Dale took a heavy breath before leaning back. He wiped his children’s tears with his fingers. He blinked back his own tears. “I promise I’ll call tomorrow,” he told them. He hugged them both one last time and kissed their foreheads before standing up. “I love you.”

“Love you too Daddy,” Ryan and Isabella said softly. They turned around and moved to stand next to their mother, pressed against her side. Tears still rolled down their cheeks as they stared longingly at their father.

Dale moved his gaze from his sniffling children to Karli. He wanted to ask to stay. He wanted to ask for her to come back home. He wanted to ask for a second chance. He wouldn’t mess up again. He wanted so many things, his wife back, and his children each night. The life that he had three years ago, before it started unraveling. 

He sighed and gave Karli a half smile. “I’ll call tomorrow before bedtime.” He held her eyes a moment longer before dropping them. “Goodnight.” 

Karli watched him walk down the sidewalk back to his car, his shoulders slumped dejectedly. Her heart constricted and the pain made it hard to breath. The miserable look in his eyes when she first saw him tonight nearly brought her to her knees. The last look was just as worse. She found herself wanting to find out what was wrong, to help him with what he was going through. The need was compelling. When Dale hurt, she hurt. 

“Stay here,” she told her children and took a hesitant step forward and then another until she was walking steadily toward the black SUV. Her mind screaming at her to remember the pain he had caused her. Her heart reminded her of all the good times, of her feelings for the man walking away. “Dale,” she said, reaching out, her hand resting on his bicep. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest and she was so sure it was going to break through. She met his blue gaze and it was like nothing had ever changed. “I…would you like to come in?” The words that left her mouth were not the words she wanted to say. She saw the surprise flash across Dale’s face. “We need to talk. And…and I want you to stay.”

The words left Dale speechless. He stared at his ex-wife but the raw emotion washing across her face told him she wasn’t joking. He turned to face her. “Are you sure?” He asked her, searching her face. He refused to get his hopes up.

“No, I’m not sure,” Karli said honestly, her eyes holding steadily with his. “I’m afraid of putting my heart out there again. Of the fall out being much worse than it was the first time. But I love you Dale and I’ve tried to move forward and not care, but I can’t. I miss you. I miss us.”

Dale’s eyes slid closed at Karli’s declaration. The words he had wanted her to say for so long; the words that he had wanted to say. He opened his eyes, bringing his hands up to frame her face. He saw the tears build in her eyes. “God, Karli. It’s been hell without you. And I’m sorry. I love you and I should have fought harder. This time I will do much better. I can’t lose you. I need you too much.”

He lowered his head, his lips brushing over hers in a sweet, gentle kiss before he wrapped his arms around her pulling her into his arms. He sighed happily feeling her arms sliding around his waist. He nestled his nose in her hair, breathing in her scent. God, he missed her. “I love you, Karli,” he whispered in her ear.

“I love you too,” Karli’s voice wavered with tears.

Dale pulled back staring down at Karli’s face. He saw the tears trailing down her cheeks. He reached out brushing them away, much like he did with their children moments prior. He smiled and leaned down kissing Karli again. He took her hand and led her away from the SUV back to the walk where their children were waiting. The smiles on their little faces melted his heart and he couldn’t believe he had ever done something so stupid as to let them walk away. 

The front door shut behind them and Karli watched as Ryan and Isabella talked excitedly and hung on Dale. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face. Her heart swelled at the smile on Dale’s face and at the way his eyes at lit up, losing the gloomy look. How any of them had made it without each other, she would never know. But she did know that she needed Dale in her life to make it and he needed them. This time around, she knew, they’d be just fine.


End file.
